If you want one of my special cards, inbox me your address. I’ll need it soon to see how many I’m going to get printed.
Yours in Doge,
So I come to gym later at night to avoid crowds, since I hate people. Of course, the only other person there picks the locker next to mine and just stands there naked while playing on his phone.
Catnip, not even once.
Hector’s Christmas present.
Oil painted in Vietnam, from the awesome folks at nobilified.com.
I was the first person to request tattoos put on a painting, and they were very excited to do it, so I told them to use it on the website, and you can see it under “examples”.
The original is Andrea Doria as Neptune, and from several photos, they created this masterpiece.
Really, this is the best gift I have ever received. Ever. Nothing will ever match it.
I just searched for “privilege” on tumblr and noticed white people have gone mentally incapable.
24 Hour ATM.
I’m writing a children’s book.
It’s about these about how these little kids and their adorable woodland friends made Santa & Jesus very happy by taking all the money out of dad’s wallet and mailing it to my PO box.
Because I’m a man of extreme importance, I often stay up past midnight and watch stupid TV shows. One of my favorite background noises is a delightful romp called Cheaters. For the lucky people who have never indulged, they catch people who cheat on their possibly significant others.
On this particular episode, an almost elderly woman caught her husband of thirty years getting it on with a younger woman. When they went to confront him, they were in a place that specializes in fried chicken.
Wife: HO I KNOW YOU AIN’T EATING MY CHICKEN. (Picks up fried drumstick, waves it around like a knife.)
Husband: Why are you here? This is my friend!
Woman: Who you calling ho, bitch? This is my chicken! (Picks up fried drumstick, waves it around like a knife.).
Husband: Honey, come on now, I’m working.
Wife: DID HE TELL YOU HE WAS MARRIED? THAT’S STILL MY CHICKEN!
Husband: I took off my ring because my fingers swell up?
Woman: He said you died twenty years ago! AND THIS IS MY CHICKEN.
It went on for about 5 more minutes, all the while the two women are waving around drumsticks like weapons.
Check out these cuddling otters at Lincoln Park zoo.
Starting tomorrow, I’m eating mostly just Taco Bell for a month.
You read that correctly. For lunch, dinner, and 4th meal, my eating experiences will be centered around the culinary delights of Taco Bell. Why do this? I have always had a really tough time gaining muscle, and TB products are loaded with muscle building proteins.
Of course, I’m not connected to Taco Bell. And yes, I’ll be working out twice a day as normal. Let’s see what happens.
(Follow it on Twitter, https://twitter.com/teamteebs)
Every holiday has a unique tone or feeling associated with it. The Fourth of July is a celebration. Thanksgiving is a day for reflection. Veterans Day has what I consider the most meaningful theme of all: honor.
Since the guns of World War I grew silent on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, nations around the world have created holidays to honor the military service of its men and women. In proclaiming the first Veterans Day (then known as Armistice Day) in 1919, President Woodrow Wilson called it a day of “solemn pride.”
As Americans, we can take solemn pride in the unbroken chain of
military service stretching from the first shots at Lexington and
Concord to the ongoing presence in Afghanistan. That chain of service has not only secured and preserved our freedom, but it has also made us a nation of opportunity where we can turn our biggest dreams into reality.
Many of us support veterans-related organizations in other meaningful ways. There are many organizations that offer services to veterans and their families, including veterans who have been wounded while fighting in our name. With the Veterans Day holiday, we turn the calendar toward the end of the year, but we must never end our commitment to our veterans.
To all my followers who are vets, happy Veterans Day!
Our room has a view of Millennium Park.
Yes, we did what you’re thinking.